Love & Dating

The Secret To Connecting On A First Date

KissingPhoto by Scinern

The first date is all about first impression, about that first chemistry. Some people click the moment they meet each other but for the most it is a process that take some time. There is no right formula for the first date – what to say and what to do, because we are all different, but there are some guidelines that you should follow.

While talking it is a good thing to mix up your tone a bit. Speaking a bit faster and changing your pitch signals excitement. When you are speaking slowly with monotone voice you are giving an impression that you are bored.

You should not ask too many question, after all it should not be a job interview but a pleasant conversation. Try to keep the flow of your conversation changing the subject smoothly using the next question only if you hit the wall with the present one. Also watch for fluffy fillers like kind, sort, I guess because according to the study they indicate that you are not interested.

When your date is interrupting to get involved in your story is a pretty good sign. It suggests that he is truly interested in what you are talking so do the same thing when he/she is telling his/her story. Ask the small questions about the topic and make your date explain you some parts that you did not understand well.

Try to be empathetic when your date is talking about him/her. If it is positive story interrupt with “Amazing” and if it is a sad one say something like “Oh no” or “That sucks”. Try to connect with what he/she felt when the thing that he/she talks about happened.

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Never, but we mean never ask questions about how it is going, or ask your date does he/she likes you during the first date. Those are lethal attraction killing questions, and you should stay away from those. You will know how he/she liked you when the time for the second date comes.

Don’t forget the body language, because that speaks for you before you do. Always maintain eye contact but blink (it looks scary if you don’t). Sit up straight, watch your manners. Be seductive but not too much, you could get the opposite reaction.

And the most important thing try to be natural, to be yourself. This sound like no big deal but is one of the hardest part. Everybody act a bit when meeting someone for the first time, so if you can be truly relaxed and act completely like yourself that is the best recipe for having smooth first date.

Like we said in the begging there is no right recipe for successful first date, but if you are one for another you will probably figure it out by yourself.


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